All you need to get sucked in
Is a flashy Twitter handle,
But are you prepared to RISK YOUR LIFE [!!]
It’s quite an uncertain gamble.
You could be lured into cyber space
By a celebrity blog or site,
NOT following your fav’s Facebook page
Would use up all your might
Then there are all those YouTube clips
That keep you chortling with glee,
I swear they’re like drugs, you just CAN’T stop
One look and your life’s history
Before you know it, you’re 89
With no family, no job, no kids,
Somehow, you’ve wasted all your life
Laughing to YT vids!!
Don’t get me started on those wretched Vines,
Those six-second shots of Morphine,
Instead of baths, you Vine-binge
It’s because of THEM you’re not clean!!
I’m kidding, of course, you’re 100% spot-free
You’re purer than the driven snow
The layer of dust that’s settled on you
Is OBVIOUSLY just for show
And, just like that, you’ve metamorphosed
From a random Joe with an OK tummy,
To a couch potato with ZERO social skills,
In other words, an Internet Mummy!!