Everybody’s Got Something To Say

“Drink up all your water, dear,”
My Mum coos from the kitchen,
“It’ll give your skin a natural glow
And save you a lot of stitchin’!”

I grab a pitcher in both hands
And am poised to chug it down,
When my Dad shrieks from the other room
“Your insides are going to drown!

“Too much water leads to disease,
And intestinal bugs!”
He shakes his head so vigorously
That I put down the water jug.

Right then, Uncle Tony struts in
His hips swaying to the beat,
“Water is the kryptonite,” he says,
“To this wretched summer heat!”

He brings a bottle to his lips
And barely has a taste,
Before my father slaps it down
With a weary, worried haste

“Whatever did you do that for??”
Tony asks with indignation
“Well, I only just SAVED YOUR LIFE!”
Dad shouts in retaliation

“We’re all drinking way too much!”
He yells out, without trace of flounder
“Well, I say we don’t drink ENOUGH!”
Tony decides to counter

The men start to quarrel, then,
Their eyes and cheeks ablaze,
While Mum tries to put it out,
And I heave a sigh, amazed